National Security

Gee, it's October already and I realized I hadn't even finished with my summer pickle travel tales yet...but don't worry, it won't take long. In August I went to Pittsburgh to check out its local attractions-Iron City Beer, french fries on salads and The Warhol Museum. I also drove about 90 miles south of Pittsburgh to visit the Frank Lloyd Wright house, Falling Water and along the way passed several other "attractions"...like Jellystone National Park, complete with a giant Yogi Bear,putt-putt golf and a "zoo" of "exotic" animals, and several Amish and country "shoppes" with lots of jellies, candies and whatnot. Oh yeah, and PICKLES.

Since I would be flying back the very next day and I was traveling with only a carry- on bag, I couldn't go nuts and "stock up" like I wanted to, so I bought one small jar of spicy, sweet pickles, hoping they would satisfy my crack-like addiction to Wickles Pickles. I did see jars of homemade Amish dill pickles and trust me, it was a heartbreaking experience to pass them up but I was restricted to what I could eat overnight.



I picked up a brand that I'm pretty sure I've seen in regular "shoppes" like Wal-Mart but whatever, these were DL Jardines Texas Pickles. I was driving so I cracked them open and put them between my legs and hit the road back to Pittsburgh. They were ok, no Wickles by a longshot. I wished I had seen the Amish Dills before I had already purchased these...sigh...

Lessons learned: There is no substitute for Wickles and always travel with a suitcase for shipping back pickles.

After returning the rental car (with a big pickle juice stain on the seat-from the JAR-not ME!) I walked into the airport knowing I was about to do the unthinkable-I had to leave the pickles behind.

A guy can board a plane with a monkey under his hat but I can't carry on a jar of pickles. Where did everything go so wrong?